Carrying On Great American traditions

(Here’s the link to the full article, but I’ll be summarizing below.)

You heard it right, folks, President Obama is the fourth president in a row to bomb Iraq!  *Confetti, big brass band, cheering*  Aren’t traditions great?  Going back to President Bush (the not funny one), bombing Iraq has been as American as apple pie or TSA pat-downs.  Every president since then has had the privilege of carrying on this tradition of ours.This time around, Obama was able to proudly walk in the footsteps those before him.  In a press conference announcing the commencement of Iraqapalooza, he did what’s just as much a tradition as bombing Iraq is: He was incredibly vague about the proceedings of the bombings!

He mentioned consulting congress, and also claimed that he already had the authority to proceed without them.  “Yeah, I just thought you guys should know we’re bombing Iraq… again.”  He also talked about making a coalition to help in the bombings, but he never mentioned exactly with who.  The more the merrier, right?

Mixed in with the vagueness, Obama also was kind enough to inform us that just bombing ISIS and/or ISIL wouldn’t be enough to take them out.  So, we’ll probably be deploying ground troops and arming “moderate Syrian rebels.”  Oh, goody!  There’s some more traditions, folks!  We’ll be deploying troops and odds are they’ll never leave.  What’s more, we’ll be arming and supplying a militia that will probably turn on us within ten years.

Aren’t our nation’s traditions great?  The best part about them is they’re self-sustaining.  Once we start, it’ll be impossible to stop!