Well, quite awhile into the action, our government has finally decided on what, exactly, to call our war against ISIS! What a relief! I, as I’m sure you all are, am relived to know that we finally know what to call our war. Can we even go to war without having a cool name for it? I don’t know… There’s probably a law somewhere. Anyway, the point is, we finally have a name for the war, and that name is…. (drum roll)… “Inherent Resolve!”
…”Inherent Resolve?” That’s the best they could come up with? Really?! Come on, government! I can come up with better names for this war than that! Look:
“Operation Flying Doom.”
“Let Freedom (and shellshock) Ring”
“Iraq, Episode III: The Empire Strikes Back”
“Obama’s ‘Bush’ War”
See? Any one of those names would be better than “Inherent Resolve!” That name just sounds like the title of one of those straight-to-DVD movies! Personally, I can’t feel any patriotism or get roused up at the name of “Inherent Resolve.” Why’d you pick that name, anyway? Are we “inherently resolved” go into Iraq again? Are we “inherently resolved” to avoid mission-creep this time around? Maybe our government is just “inherently resolved” to aid and protect the government we were condemning just a year ago, while at the same time arming rebels who will probably turn against us within ten years.