Glenn Beck is crazy, but not in the way you think

On Monday,  conservative talk show host and conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck made the public aware that he’s been suffering from a neurological illness for several years.  (No, Mormonism doesn’t qualify.) He said that the illness is what made him look crazy.

“About five years ago … I had begun to have a string of health issues, that quite honestly, has made me look crazy and, quite honestly, I had felt crazy because of them,” he explained during a show on his Blaze TV network.

Some of the symptoms he is said to have experienced are actually quite scary.  “vocal paralysis,” eyesight problems, insomnia, loss of memory, and intense pain that would make his limbs feel like “someone had crushed them, set them on fire, or pushed broken glass into them.”

Fortunately, Mr. Beck’s condition is improving.  About ten months ago, Beck visited an experimental clinic in Dallas called Carrick Brain Centers — a place where “they do crazy stuff.” There, doctors diagnosed him with an unnamed auto-immune disorder and adrenal fatigue. “Me never having to sleep was finally understandable. The last sign of adrenal failure is a hyperextension of your adrenal glands. In other words, I didn’t need sleep.”

After months of treatment, change of diet, physical therapy and hormone treatments, Beck says that his “brain is back online in a big way.”

You know what that means, ladies and gentlemen.  Glenn Beck is back!!!  I can’t wait to see him on TV again with all his conspiracy theories.  Wanna know the best part?  Now that he’s feeling better, all his theories have to be correct from now on!