Queen Elizabeth II officially the longest reigning queen in UK history

For crying out loud, everyone, stop saying “Long live the queen!”

Queen Elizabeth II, ruler of the British Empire (which they still swear they have,) has officially held the crown longer than any British monarch in history.  She has been queen for 23,226 days.  To put things in perspective, this old lady has outlasted a dozen US presidents, Hitler, and the entire Cold War.

The BBC reports: The prime minster said she had been a “rock of stability” in an era when so much had changed, and her reign had been the “golden thread running through three post-war generations”.
He said it was “typical of the Queen’s selfless sense of service” that she thought today should be a normal day.
Acting Labour leader Harriet Harman said it was “no exaggeration” to say the Queen was “admired by billions of people all around the world”.
Ministers are to present the Queen with a bound copy of cabinet papers from the meeting in 1952 when Sir Winston Churchill’s government approved the content of her first Queen’s Speech.

I only have one question: What pagan gods has she been sacrificing British children to?  Something’s gotta be keeping her alive!  And don’t tell me it’s a healthy diet, I’ve seen British food!

Anyways, congrats to Her Majesty!