Bet you weren’t expecting Zimbabwe to be in the news today, were you? I bet you don’t even know where it is on a map, either (as if I do.)
A pastor in Harare has come under some criticism for selling ballpoint pens. That doesn’t seem to controversial, does it? Well, apparently these ballpoint pens were “magic.” The pastor guaranteed students who bought them that they would pass all their exams without having to study. Ranging from one to twenty US dollars, the pastor said that the more they paid, the more they would pass.
Prophet Sham said those who are sitting for their exams only needed faith and the anointed pen to pass. “It is anointed and I declare passes when your children sit for exams; when you sit for your exams ,” he said.
With the ‘O’ Level and ‘A’ Level examinations around the corner, the pens sold like hot cakes and congregants were seen scrambling to the pulpit to get them.
1: The dude is literally called Prophet Sham! “Sham”? As in Sham?! That’s the most un-subtle name since Bernie Madoff
2: Why did I not think of this?! Like I tell my grandparents every time they try to push me into the clergy: I would only become a preacher for the money. Do you realize what kind of fortune I’ve missed out on? I bet I could make those sell like hotcakes here at A&M. “No, really, the pen is magic! Reveille chewed on it, you’re guaranteed to pass your final!