Aw, look, they still think they’re relevant. How cute!
British Prime Minister and Mr. Bean wannabe David Cameron rejected claims on Monday that he was planning to campaign for Great Britain to stay in the European Union, no matter how reform talks went.
“The argument isn’t whether Britain could survive outside of Europe. Of course it could,” Cameron told the annual conference of the Confederation of British Industry (CBI), the country’s main business lobby.
“The argument is how we could be best off,” he told the group, many of whose members are concerned about the economic consequences of a possible “Brexit”.
Of course Britain can survive outside the E.U. All they have to do is blow up the Chunnel, once again become the greatest naval force in the world, re-invade two-thirds of the planet, and go back to hating the French and Irish… more than they already do.
Talks of the British Isles leaving the European Union is nothing new. After two world wars, who wouldn’t be ticked off by being under German control, after all? This new rusted-saber rattling comes with Prime Minister Cameron’s upcoming reform demands in 2017. The demands are many, but Cameron divided them into four general categories: improving competitiveness, greater “fairness” between eurozone and non-eurozone nations, sovereignty issues including an exemption from the aspiration of ever-closer union and making it harder for migrants to claim benefits.
And if these reforms don’t happen? Well, Great Britain will do what is fitting of a globe-spanning empire to do: pick up their toys and go home, they don’t wanna play anymore!
“If I can’t achieve them, I rule nothing out,” he said, reiterating a warning to EU leaders.
“If these things can’t be fixed, then Britain would naturally ask: do we belong in this organisation?
“Is this organization flexible enough to make sure that countries inside the eurozone can grow and succeed and countries outside the eurozone, like Britain, can get what they want?” he said.
Yes, can Britain get what they want? Unlikely, as I seriously doubt the colonies will be coming home anytime soon. Also, I doubt they’ll be getting any sunlight anytime soon. Oh, and the day British food tastes good is the day the apocalypse begins. (I have a lot of British jokes, so this could go on for a while.)