Texas Billionaires Buy 38,000 Acres of Idaho, Cut Access

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to America’s new favorite reality show:  SPOT.  THAT. CONSPIRACY THEORIST!!!  The object of the game is to appear as insane, anti-government, and stereotypically survivalist as possible without coming out and saying they’re a conspiracy theorist.  Ready to play?  Great!


Today’s contestants are a pair of brothers from Texas.  They’ve made billions in the fracking business, have 17 children between them, are Seventh Day Adventists, have donated over $15 million to Ted Cruz’s campaign, and have recently bought over 38,000 acres of Idaho land and cut access from the locals.

Well, I don’t think we need to go any further!  We have our winners!  The only way they could be more obvious would be if one of them suddenly started shooting at helicopters that flew over their land!

The Wilks brothers began purchasing Idaho land over six years ago, according to the Tyler Morning Telegraph.  All 38,000 acres were worth a combined $2.4 million.  Locals have been concerned as access to this land for hunting and fishing has been cut.

The Dallas Morning News reports:  During a recent Idaho County Commission meeting, comments were made that residents believe public access to the Joseph Plains area for hunting and recreation, which has been granted in the past by the previous landowners, has been closed off since the Wilkses took over. The comments took place in a conversation about the proposed Lochsa Land Exchange.

The commissioners said this week they are not concerned about the Wilkses owning large tracts of land in the county and speculated that people might get permission to hunt in the area on an individual basis if they approached the ranch managers with their request.

“As long as (the Wilks brothers) pay their taxes, I’m not worried,” Commission Chairman Jim Chmelik said.

Ha!  Please, they’re billionaires.  The super-rich don’t pay taxes, everyone knows that!  Besides, they live in the “Independent Republican God-Fearin’ Tax-Free Republic of Idaho… ‘Murica.”  I don’t think the IRS has jurisdiction in micronations.

The Wilkses also have reportedly purchased 300,000 acres of land in Montana over the years.  Clearly, they’re planning to combat a future hostile takeover of the gub’ment by simply buying America from them.