Naming things that can kill lots of people: one of the oldest and noblest of military traditions!
With national debt, a struggling economy, and a broken education system being high-priority issues that concern America, the government has decided to do the only logical thing: spend billions of dollars on more toys for the military. On the bright side, they want the people’s help to name them!
The Air Force has recently decided to spend $90 billion on 100 new bombers. Currently only known as the B-21, or the Long Range Strike Bomber. The Air Force, for obvious reasons, wants a catchier name than that, but since all their money went to buying them, they’re outsourcing the naming process. They’re currently taking suggestions for the name of this new type of plane.
As you can guess, according to TIME magazine, the suggestions have come pouring in:
Banshee, Batwing, Grey Owl, Razor, Silence, Vader and Wraith are among those submitted in response to the Air Force’s B-21 announcement.
Others have been submitted with a wink, including Hindsight, National Debt and Surprise. “I don’t know,” one commenter wondered. “What are the Chinese calling theirs?”
Some are more serious. “Call it The B-21 Justice,” one poster recommended. “Our enemies should know that they face justice for their actions, and it’s also a reminder to us that our arms should only be borne to promote what is just.”
Another commenter came up with a similar, if less politic, name. “Respectfully, I believe it’s time to remind this fractious world why America’s military has long-range bombers,” he wrote. “I humbly suggest the B-21 Executioner.”
I have a few suggestions of my own.
“Money Well Spent”
“Mr. Fly-y Explode-y”
“Peacemaker…Because Everyone Else is Dead”
and my personal favorite, “‘MURICA!!!!”