Flight Attendant Stopped With 70 Pounds of Crack, escapes TSA

Cocaine: the drug that makes you feel like you can outrun almost anything.  When you drop 70 lbs of it to run faster, you’re technically correct.

A flight attendant at LaGuardia Airport was heading towards her flight to New York last Friday.  According to the New York Post, she got randomly selected to have her bags searched.  After reportedly making a nervous phone call, she bolted.

“She kicked her high heels off and left her shoes and bag behind,” said Marshall McClain of the Los Angeles Airport Peace Officers Association.

“She knew if she dropped both of them, she’d be able to run away more quickly,” he explained. “She was then able to high-foot it out of the terminal, down an up escalator while barefoot, where we assume she got into a car and took off to parts unknown.”

According to the New York Post, the woman showed the TSA her ID, proving she was actually a flight attendant.  Still, apparently nobody got her name.  It was, as McClain said, “A big security failure.”

One one hand, she was able to take her shoes off, run down an up escalator, and drive into the sunset without the TSA even catching her or ever getting her name.  On the other hand, the TSA now has 70 lbs. of cocaine.  I’m sure they’ll find some way to cope.