After a painful defeat to Kevin from The Office lookalike Ted Cruz in Wisconsin, Donald Trump does what he always does: be a mature adult and accuse the world of being out to get him.
The Great Pumpkin’s campaign staff fired off a statement full of the usual anger, delusions, and Trump-isms we’ve come to know and love:
“Donald J. Trump withstood the onslaught of the establishment yet again. Lyin’ Ted Cruz had the Governor of Wisconsin, many conservative talk radio show hosts and the entire party apparatus behind him,” the statement said. “We have total confidence that Mr. Trump will go on to win in New York, where he holds a substantial lead in the polls.”
The statement also accused Curz of being a GOP puppet and a “Trojan Horse” designed specifically to steal the nomination from Trump. Personally, I very much doubt that Cruz is a Trojan Horse. There’re no Greeks hiding inside of him. Cheese-its, maybe, but not Greeks.
Speaking of Cheese, you’d think Trump would have done better in Wisconsin, considering he looks like one of their most famous products.