Ted Cruz Suspends Campaign

I’d say he’s heartbroken but trying to keep a smile on his face… but honestly that’s just kind of how he always looks.

Senator Ted Cruz, the only viable option left to stop Donald Trump, has suspended his presidential campaign.  This comes after a string of defeats to the Donald, with NBC projecting that the orange juggernaut will sweep Indiana.  After continuously falling second place to Trump, Cruz dropped out of the race Tuesday night.

CNBC reports: “From the beginning I’ve said that I would continue on as long as there was a viable path to victory. Tonight, I’m sorry to say, it appears that path has been foreclosed,” Cruz said during a Tuesday night speech. “The voters chose another path, and so with a heavy heart, but with boundless optimism for the long-term future of our nation, we are suspending our campaign.”

With the Zodiac Killer, um, I mean Senator Cruz gone, only one man stands in the way of Donald Trump’s nomination.  One man so determined, so much of an underdog, so under the radar that you forgot he was even still a candidate until just now:  John Kasich.

Yes, John Kasich.  The political equivalent of week-old frozen leftovers.  Nobody really wants it, but when takeout is too expensive and you don’t feel like cooking, what’re you gonna do?

The Kasich campaign stated that the results of Indiana and the dropping out of Cruz won’t change their plans at all.

“Our strategy has been and continues to be one that involves winning the nomination at an open convention,”

Speaking of the open convention, I wouldn’t count Cruz out just yet.  Like a true constitution-lovin’, gun-totin’ phoenix, there’s a chance that Ted may rise again.  Of course, that’s assuming there’s even going to be an open convention, and if there is that’s also assuming that some other random Republican doesn’t jump in at the last minute, and that’s assuming whoever does jump in can still beat Trump…  Well, you know what they say about assuming.