Matchmaking Contest to Marry Kim Jong-Un’s Sister

Dictator of North Korea, and chubby kid who bullied people to hide his insecurities, Kim Kong-Un has decided to do something about the biggest problem facing his nation.  What’s that?  A starving population?  No, not that, silly!  His sister isn’t married yet, that problem!

Kim Yo-Jong is the Glorious Leader’s 29 year old sister.  She was very recently elected to office as the head of propaganda, and also manages appointments and promotions for her brother.  Actually, that kind of sounds like my part time job… but moving on!

Kim Yo-Jong hold an important political position, is young, and isn’t that bad looking


To deal with the horrible issue of this girl’s singleness, Kim Jong-Un will host a contest to see who is worthy of his sister’s hand in marriage.  30 candidates will participate in a rather high-stakes vetting process

The Sun reports:  The regime had tried to find her a man in 2012 but no one lived up to expectations and the process is now to begin again after she was moved into high office at the 7th congress, which was held for the first time in 36 years this month.

Candidates must be have graduated from or be students at Pyongyang’s Kim Il-sung University, be 5’10 in tall, good looking and have served in the army.

And a defector – who revealed the North Korean dating game, said Kim Yo-jong was a haughty woman with exacting standards.

Well when your brother is the head of state (and the only fat person in the entire country) I guess you have a right to have your standards a little higher than the common folk.