There’s No Drought in California Because Trump Said So

You’re-Fired Lord Donald Trump recently assured the state of California that everything is actually just fine.  There isn’t any drought, they’re all simply mistaken.  The lack of rain and water is simply a conspiracy by environmentalists.

TIME Magazine reports:

Speaking at a rally in Fresno, Calif., Trump accused state officials of denying water to Central Valley farmers so they can send it out to sea “to protect a certain kind of three-inch fish.”

“We’re going to solve your water problem. You have a water problem that is so insane. It is so ridiculous where they’re taking the water and shoving it out to sea,” Trump said to cheers at a rally that drew thousands.

Trump said he spent 30 minutes before the rally meeting with more than 50 farmers who complained to him about their struggles.

“They don’t understand — nobody understands it,” he said, adding that, “There is no drought.”

The multi-millionaire man of the people was referring to the Sacramento river, which runs almost unhindered into the ocean, and the near-extinct Delta smelt, a three-inch long fish that has become a symbol of the struggle between protecting the environment and water distribution.  Influential corporations, farmers, and water districts have been working to get government funding for many new dams, tunnels, and water distribution plans.  Meanwhile, the other side of the debate says that there isn’t anything to be done due to standing laws and the number of at-risk species of animals who need water as badly as Californians do.

After five years of a non-existent drought, as one could guess, people are getting tired of waiting.  If elected, Trump has promised to be like Moses and bring water to the people.  How?  The same way he plans to follow through will all his other campaign promises.  He’s going to get on the horn with God and tell him to move over, Trump is in charge now.

Donald Trump Tells Drought-stricken California: ‘There Is No Drought’