Man Finds Jesus, Steals Him

“For the day of the Lord comes like a thief in the… Hey, hold on, where are we going?!”

The Houston Chronicle reports that a statue of Jesus was stolen from St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Corpus Christi.

Corpus Christi Crime Stoppers releases security footage showing the man walking into the church, picking up the statue, and walking out the church’s side door. The statue was returned later that day, according to authorities.


I’m sure there’s a joke about this guy trying to “store up his treasures in heaven,” but I’m just too lazy to work on it.