Religious Freedom = Jews Saying “Merry Christmas”

Of course I believe in religious freedom! Everybody has the right to be whatever Christian denomination they want!

Michele Bachmann, you may remember, was a presidential candidate back when Obama was running for re-election. She was the crazy Republican way before Donald Trump showed up. She had the creepy stare, blindly supported the Tea Party, and believed that vaccinations caused autism. Lots of people breathed a sigh of relief when she dropped out of the race.

Since then (and leaving her position as a representative of Minnesota, don’tcha know) she really hasn’t been in the political spotlight. Like a groundhog obeying the murderous voices in its head, though, she’s popped her head out of the ground to make sure that the world knows about her opinions, whether the world really cared or not.

So why has Bachmann come back? Simply to show how she’s still politically relevant by throwing her support to Donald Trump. Why is she supporting The Annoying Orange? Well, crazy loves crazy, for one thing. Another reason is that she and Trump share the same stance on religious liberty and the “war on Christmas.”

The Huffington Post reports: Over the weekend, Bachmann told right-wing radio host Jan Markell that Donald Trump “gets and understands religious liberty.” To show how much Trump “gets and understands” it, Bachmann shared an anecdote she said came from a meeting with the reality-TV-star-turned-GOP-presidential-candidate.

“He even said, ‘I don’t understand, when I was growing up, everybody said Merry Christmas. Even my Jews would say Merry Christmas,’” she explained. “’New York City, there are a lot of Jews, and they would even say Merry Christmas. Why can’t we even say Merry Christmas anymore?’”

Two things.

One: “My Jews?” Trump owns Jews? I didn’t know that was allowed!

Two: You can still say Merry Christmas. It’s July, so it would be strange, but you can still say it. Companies use the catch-all “Happy Holidays” because they don’t have the time to ask every single customer what pseudo-pagan tradition they happen to be celebrating that month. Nobody will stop you from saying Merry Christmas, it just reaches a narrower demographic. It’s purely capitalistic.

Anyways, the article continues, Bachmann also said Trump had “1950s sensibilities” and “1950s common sense,” and warned that Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton would bring “certain destruction” and “catastrophic decline” and a “godless United States that will walk into certain catastrophe.” 

Ah, yes, the good old sensibilities of the 1950s: black people had to use separate water fountains, anyone with a Russian accent was considered an enemy of the state, and women were expected to just stay in the home (and not become politicians!) It was a simpler, happier time for everyone… that was white and male, but those are the only people who count, right?

As far as Hillary Clinton being an absolutely terrible choice for America, I actually agree with Mrs. Bachmann. As far as her causing a “godless United States” to walk into certain catastrophe, I don’t think we really need any more help. We’re well on our way without her!

If Michele Bachmann truly believes that the end of the world and the things in Revelation are almost nigh, why is she so against it? Isn’t the fulfillment of the Bible and the second coming of Christ exactly what she should be hoping for?