Sex is Leading Cause of Pregnancy

Really? I had no idea!!! You’d think that would have been something they covered in sex-ed…

Aaron Motshoaledi, South Africa’s minister of health, was recently speaking with journalists over the deaths of 36 patients caused by some contract troubles and shakeups with hospitals. During the discussion, he was asked what other health-related problems the country was facing. As it turns out, unplanned pregnancies are a huge issue in South Africa. Mr. Motashoaledi, however, believes he knows the cause.

Motshoaledi revealed that unplanned pregnancies are a major crisis in South Africa, and unprotected sex is the leading cause.

Another stunning series of revelations revealed that belief in a higher power is the leading cause of religion, bullets are the leading cause of gunshot wounds, and thinly veiled jingoism mixed with a shallow gene pool is the leading cause of Trump supporters.

Asked whether or not he knows of any other causes of unplanned pregnancies, Minister Motshoaledi said, “No, I do not know of any. But the department is working around the clock on the matter.”

Well, that’s interesting news! If any readers out there have child support payments they’re trying to dodge, just hang on. Maybe they’ll find another cause of unplanned pregnancy besides sex! (I’m pretty sure there’s a fairly important instance of that mentioned in the Bible somewhere.)

Unprotected sex is the leading cause of pregnancies in SA, says minister of health

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