Apparently The National Enquirer Is Now A Legit News Source

That is, of course, assuming we’re counting Fox News as a legitimate news source.

I, personally, love the National Enquirer. It’s a perfect blend of conspiracy theory and high fantasy that really speaks to me, as a writer. In fact, when I’m old and retiring from a respectable career in journalism, I plan to spend my time freelancing for BS magazines such as the Enquirer.

However, my plans may need to change. As it turns out, they’re releasing “real news” these days.

The Enquirer, a little while ago, released a story about Hillary Clinton’s “Fixer.” This man, according to the magazine, a man named Jeff Rovin has been employed by the Clintons for decades to cover up any scandal surrounding them. (So… not really good at his job, then, huh?)

Here’s a photo of Mr. Rovin. He certainly has the face of a real hitman:


…Or a middle aged Harry Potter.

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but the National Enquirer reports: For years, Rovin set up illicit trysts for Hillary, with men AND women. Bill‘s sleazy affairs, meanwhile, were quickly and efficiently covered up with payoffs, blackmail and more.

He previously told The ENQUIRER, “During the 1980s and 1990s, I was working in Hollywood as a reporter for several national magazines and newspapers. Because of my good relationship with stars, publicists and the press I became ‘a fixer’: someone who helps stars keep embarrassing stories out of the press. I helped keep secrets safe for some of Hollywood’s leading men.

So Hillary is the nymphomaniac. That’s a twist even M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t think of!

What the Enquirer doesn’t mention, though, is Mr. Rovin’s other career as a science fiction novelist. Any writer knows a side-job is always important to have between books, and Rovin said he was paid $4,000 a month by the Clintons, so he had a very nice side job.

After going public to a globally recognized and respected news source like the Enquirer, what else is there to do? Why, go on Fox News, of course! Mr. Rovin, on Monday night, spoke on air with Sean Hannity, the journalist who is proud to say he’s “not a journalist.”

The Daily Beast reports: Hannity emphasized that Fox News could not “independently verify” Rovin’s story. He also noted that the Clinton presidential campaign—“shockingly”—did not respond to his team’s multiple requests seeking comment.
“I was fixing [for the Clintons], I really don’t like that term, but there it is,” Rovin told Hannity. “I was fixing something for an actor who was in their inner circle.”

Hannity proceeded to gently and credulously ask Rovin about his explosive claims about working to kill negative Clinton stories in the press, and about the Clintons’ “open marriage” and how he’d “help them hide their scandals.”
Rovin, who said he wanted to appear on Hannity’s program to offer a “less hyperbolic” version of the Enquirer cover story, was awfully cagey for someone who was outing himself as a notorious Clinton “fixer.” He did assert that it was an “open secret” among his fellow Clintonite cohorts that Hillary Clinton had a romantic relationship with Vince Foster, the former White House aide who committed suicide and has since become a fascination of Clinton conspiracy theorists. Rovin said he’d been at the Clinton White House “twice.” He discussed how “the world is upside down [and] we have to set it right, again.”

The fact that Sean Hannity is a well known Trump supporter (probably) in no way affected the decision to let an unproven anti-Clinton story on national television. Nor is the fact that Rovin identified as a Libertarian who “liked Trump, sure.”

I want Sean Hannity’s job! All you have to do is spend ten minutes in the checkout line at Walmart and you have your lineup for the evening’s show!

Hillary’s Darkest Secret EXPOSED: Clinton Fixer Revealed At Last!


One thought on “Apparently The National Enquirer Is Now A Legit News Source

  1. george mckinney says:

    If your goal is money, then you need to study Sean Hannity, Rush L. National Inquirer, Fox, and many others of their ilk. In our society, making money is valued above all. That is the only reason DT is where he is; and this applies to the Clintons as well. “Journalism” still exist of course; but the news is 90+% entertainment and hype – truth does not matter and is not needed or even helpful for money making. I think I know the path you will follow as you have already made a great start.


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