Ultra Conservative Website and Cereal Company go to War, 2016 Gets Even Weirder

This is bound to become one of the famous rivalries that will define history and will become synonymous with unending hatred: Hatfields and McCoys, the French and Germans, Catholic and Protestant, soon all these feuds will be overshadowed by the greatest, most recent rivalry: Breitbart and Kellogg’s.

Here’s a quick and dirty summary of the two warring factions: Breitbart is a far-right media outlet that has gotten fame by espousing views that border (and sometimes cross) into the regions of racism and sexism. Kellogg’s, on the other hand, is a cereal company.

Clearly, this is just like putting two bugs in a jar: it’s inevitable that they fight. But how did the bugs get thrown into the jar?

The Guardian reports: On Tuesday, the Kellogg Company pulled their adverts from the site, saying that it wasn’t “aligned with our values”. Recent inflammatory stories include “Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive And Crazy”; “Data: Young Muslims In The West Are A Ticking Time-Bomb” and “Would You Rather Your Child Had Feminism Or Cancer?”.

“We regularly work with our media-buying partners to ensure our ads do not appear on sites that aren’t aligned with our values as a company,” Kris Charles, a spokeswoman for Kellogg’s, told Bloomberg. “We recently reviewed the list of sites where our ads can be placed and decided to discontinue advertising on Breitbart.com. We are working to remove our ads from that site.”

For the less tech-savvy of my readership (i.e.: almost all my readership since only my grandparents read this) an online company such as Breitbart makes a lot of their money from ads. I’m not 100% sure about how everything technically works, but every time somebody clicks an ad on a website, that website gets a little bit of money.

Breitbart, operated by level-headed and reasonable people, responded to this loss of ad revenue the only sensible way they could: #WAR

In response to Kellogg’s statement, Breitbart published a furious attack on the cereal company on Wednesday saying that the move represents “an escalation in the war by leftist companies … against conservative customers”. Editor-in-chief Alexander Marlow called for a boycott of the company’s products, saying: “For Kellogg’s, an American brand, to blacklist Breitbart News in order to placate left-wing totalitarians is a disgraceful act of cowardice.”

“Boycotting Breitbart News for presenting mainstream American ideas is an act of discrimination and intense prejudice,” he added. “If you serve Kellogg’s products to your family, you are serving up bigotry at your breakfast table.”

The article ends with a list of Kellogg’s products followed by the phrase “Kellogg’s: #WAR” and a link to advertise with the site.

To the untrained eye it may seem that this is simply a corporation exercising its legal right to advertise where they please and to protect their image, I can assure you that this is all part of the left-wing conspiracy! What with Donald Trump as president-elect, Republicans controlling the House and the Senate, and former Breitbart chairman Stephen Bannon as a presidential advisor, conservative ideals are practically extinct! By this cereal company no longer putting online ads on a single website, they are practically putting the nails in the coffin of the right-wing.

Let’s try to remain hopeful, though. Maybe there’s away Kellogg’s and Breitbart can reconcile their differences. I already know the perfect peace offering! Kellogg’s could make a special new brand of cereal just for them! “Special KKK!”



One thought on “Ultra Conservative Website and Cereal Company go to War, 2016 Gets Even Weirder

  1. george mckinney says:

    Our group should not be referred to as “not tech savvy” but as “tech challenged”. Special KKK will be GrGrGrGrGrate!!!


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