Gunman Arrested For “Investigating” Pizza Place Conspiracy

A pizza generally comes in 8 slices. You have 2 hands to eat pizza with. 8 – 2 is 6. 666, the number of the beast! Also, pizza slices come in triangles, a lot like the illuminati! What if that isn’t really grease on your pepperoni, but mind controlling chemicals! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!

A North Carolina man, who’s remained unnamed, has been arrested for shooting up a Washington D.C. restaurant while “investigating” its links to a popular conspiracy theory.

The man reportedly walked into Comet Ping Pong, a popular pizza restaraurant in the D.C. area, and pointed an assault rifle an an employee. The employee fled and called the cops, and the man began shooting. Nobody was injured, thankfully, and police quickly apprehended the gunman.

So, what were the man’s motivations to drive all the way from North Carolina and attack a pizza place?

The Guardian reports: They said the suspect during an interview with investigators revealed that he came to the establishment to “self-investigate” Pizzagate, the police statement said. Pizzagate is a baseless conspiracy, which falsely claims Clinton and her campaign chief John Podesta were running a child sex ring from the restaurant’s backrooms.

Police said there was no active investigation of child abuse allegations relating to the restaurant.

I love a good conspiracy more than anyone else, but when Pizzagate showed up I didn’t pay much attention to it. Even by Internet conspiracy standards it was silly. According to anonymous online trolls and people who already had it out for Clinton, if you “decoded” her leaked emails in the proper way they revealed a ring of corruption, pedophilia, and horror all surrounding Comet Ping Pong. The problem was, the conspiracy didn’t just stay on the Internet, it leaked into the real world. General Mike Flynn, Trump’s national security advisor, shared a fake news story defending Pizzagate on Twitter back in November.

You know, when I think of high-level conspiracies involving people of immense power and position, I always imagine a pizza/ping pong restaurant as the front that hides it all. I can understand why so many people find this believable.


One thought on “Gunman Arrested For “Investigating” Pizza Place Conspiracy

  1. george mckinney says:

    People of immense power&position does not = people of immense reasoning&knoweledge


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