Priest Accused of Orgies and Pimping

Truly I say unto you, pimpin’ ain’t easy. – Gospel of R. Kelly (feat. St. Snoop Dogg) 6:9

“Jesus is watching!”

“Well let me know if he starts touching, ’cause then Imma have to charge him!”

An Italian priest has been accused of selling indulgences of an entirely different sort: Hosting orgies, pimping out women, owning pornography, and a bunch of other dirty deeds usually reserved for altar boys.

48 year old Andrea Contin, is/was priest of a parish in the town of Padua, Italy. The accusations first came up last year, with complaints coming in to the local bishop. Of course, in the long tradition of being open and helpful with the authorities, the Catholic Church sat on it and did nothing while they underwent an “investigation” of their own.

The reports: A variety of sex toys and videos, purportedly showing orgies taking place on the San Lazzaro church premises, have been seized after complaints from three female parishioners.

The 48-year-old also allegedly concealed pornographic home videos in covers bearing the names of various popes. He is accused of farming out some of his lovers to men on wife-swapping websites, according to The Times.

The priest also allegedly took his female friends for stays at a naturist and swingers resort in Cap d’Agde on the southern French coast.

Man, this guy knew how to party! Orgy in a church? That’s gotta be on somebody’s bucket list! (or at least a list that rhymes with “bucket.”) What I don’t get is why hide your porn with the popes’ names? Isn’t that a little creepy, to name your spank-bank after your boss?

Father, or should we say “Daddy” Contin has not as of now been arrested for anything, but he is under now investigation by the authorities. Who knew that people would have a hard time keeping up with vows of celibacy? I never would have guessed it!


One thought on “Priest Accused of Orgies and Pimping

  1. george mckinney says:

    What you get when you require your employees to do something directly in conflict with their basic human drives. Religion at work again – Let’s hear it for the Roman Catholics


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