Neo-Nazi Comes Out as Gay and Jewish

Much like switching teams in an online video game, this like likely to induce rage on one side and laughs on the other.

Kevin Wilshaw has been a part of the Neo-Nazi movement for over 40 years. Even at the beginning of this year he was speaking at white nationalist events. He was a well known organizer of the hate group National Front. It’s been a lifetime of work on the radical, racist fringe for him.

That is all coming to an end for Wilshaw, however. Why? Apparently he has come out as both gay and Jewish. Plot twist!

Channel 4 News reports: “On one or two occasions in the recent past I’ve actually been the recipient of the very hatred of the people I want to belong to … if you’re gay it is acceptable in society but with these group of people it’s not acceptable, and I found on one or two occasions when I was suspected of being gay I was subjected to abuse.”

Mr Wilshaw admits that being a Nazi who is gay – but with a Jewish background – is a contradiction.

Just a little bit. It kind of sounds like the opening to a crummy joke. “A gay, Jewish Nazi walks into a bar…”

“It’s a terribly selfish thing to say but it’s true, I saw people being abused, shouted at, spat at in the street – it’s not until it’s directed at you that you suddenly realise that what you’re doing is wrong.”

Wasn’t there a poem about this? “…And then there was no one left to speak for me” or something like that? People suck, very few notice this fact until they become the target.

Wilshaw also talked about his Jewish heritage, on his mother’s side:

“She was part Jewish, maiden name was Benjamin, we have Jewish blood on that side.

“I didn’t have many friends at school, I wanted to be a member of a group of people that had an aim, and I thought getting involved in that kind of thing [Neo-Nazism] would be comradeship.”

“Even though you end up being a group of people that through their own extreme views are cut off from society, you do have a sense of comradeship in that you’re a member of a group that’s being attacked by other people.”

Heck, you could have stayed Jewish if that was the kind of comradeship you wanted!

Wilshaw expressed guilt over his past, and how he wants to reconnect with his family. You can watch the interview here.

No wonder there’s been so many white nationalist rallies lately, their movement is full of gay people! And we all know they love a parade.


Florida Congressional Candidate Victim of Alien Abduction

You know what? Sure, vote for her. She’s about as sane as everyone else in politics these days.

Miami woman Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera is currently running for Congress. She claims to be a conservative Republican and a firm Christian. Before her Congressional run she’s worked in city politics for quite a while. Oh, and she’s also a victim of alien abduction. All in all she seems pretty typical for a Florida politician.

The Miami Herald reports: Three blond, big-bodied beings — two females, one male — visited her when she was 7 years old and have communicated telepathically with her several times in her life, she says.

Blond and big-bodied? That narrows the search down! Aliens live among us and are dressed like Swedes!

She described “going up” inside the spaceship — though whether it went into space or just hovered around town was left unclear. 

“I went in. There were some round seats that were there, and some quartz rocks that controlled the ship — not like airplanes,” Rodriguez Aguilera said.

In two separate videos posted to YouTube years ago, one by local Spanish-language stationAmerica TeVe and another by a political critic with the user name DoralGirl26, Rodriguez Aguilera spoke on television in detail about her extraterrestrial experiences. She said the alien beings reminded her of the famous statue in Rio de Janeiro, Christ the Redeemer, with arms outstretched.

They could have just been coming in for a hug!
Aguilera claims that she had some fascinating revelations thanks to her time with the aliens. For example:
There are 30,000 skulls — “different from humans” — in a cave in the Mediterranean island of Malta.
The world’s “energy center” is in Africa.

The Coral Castle, a limestone tourist attraction South Miami-Dade, is actually an ancient Egyptian pyramid.

And “God is a universal energy.”

“For years people, including Presidents like Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter and astronauts have publicly claimed to have seen unidentified flying objects and scientists like Stephen Hawking and institutions like the Vatican have stated that there are billions of galaxies in the universe and we are probably not alone,” she said. “I personally am a Christian and have a strong belief in God, I join the majority of Americans who believe that there must be intelligent life in the billions of planets and galaxies in the universe.”

Hey, stranger things have happened! …Or at least some kook in a tinfoil hat has claimed stranger things have happened! I say we give this lady a chance.

Florida Man Kills in Defense of Imaginary Girlfriend

What a coincidence! My girlfriend is imaginary, too!

Imaginary friends are a big part of growing up for many people. Imaginary friends go away after a while, though, as people grow up. The only grown adults with imaginary friends tend to be crazy people, writers, the super rich, or this guy in Florida.

Another way that Florida man Brian Disario differs from others with imaginary friends is that he’s killed in defense of his.

Bay News 9 reports: The incident started about 3:30 p.m. when deputies closed part of State Road 52 near Meadow Drive in Port Richey due to reports of an active shooter in the Gulf Highlands subdivision. Disario had been in the garage of his home with his mother, her boyfriend and their friend David Armstrong.

Nocco said before the suspect, 30-year-old Brian Disario, barricaded himself inside his home, he believed his mother’s friend, Armstrong, 56, was trying to hit on Disario’s imaginary girlfriend.

“Please note Brian does not have a girlfriend. In his mind he did but in reality he didn’t,” Nocco said.

Well, sheesh, you don’t have to rub it in!

“At one point Brian comes out and says to the victim, ‘you’re messing with my girlfriend.’ The suspect then pulls out a long gun and shoots the victim.”

Unfortunately, he did not use a finger gun and go “BANG!”

Authorities said Disario then walked out into the street armed with that weapon and engaged in a shootout with deputies. All of this unfolded Thursday afternoon less than two blocks from Gulf Highlands Elementary School.

So the cops were threatening his girlfriend, too?

It’s not yet known if Disario died from being struck by a deputy’s bullet or from a self-inflicted wound. Disario did not have a criminal record but officials did say multiple weapons were found inside of the home.

Pasco County Sheriff Chris Nocco said the man … was suffering from mental illness.

Ya don’t say?

U.N. Pulls Out of Southern Malawi Because of Vampire Scare

Well I bet that’s a real pain in the neck!

Every country has its own supernatural creatures to worry about. The U.S. has Bigfoot, Haiti has zombies, London has werewolves, you get the idea. Malawi, apparently, has vampires. Stories about monsters are a fact of life almost wherever you go. It’s not every day that these monsters cause the United Nations to turn and run, however.

Reuters reports: The United Nations said on Monday it has pulled staff out of two districts in southern Malawi where a vampire scare has triggered mob violence in which at least five people have been killed.

Well if you thought an undead creature with supernatural powers was hiding in the crowd nearby, you’d probably  get a little jumpy, too!

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in rural Malawi, one of the world’s poorest countries, where many aid agencies and NGOs work. A spate of vigilante violence linked to a vampire rumors also erupted in Malawi in 2002.

Malawian President Peter Mutharika said the reports were “distressing and agonizing”.

“This development has been of grave concern to the President and the entire Government,” his office said in a statement.

I’d be distressed, too! Nobody wants vampires in your country!

The UNDSS report said the vampirism rumors appear to have originated in neighboring Mozambique, although it was not clear what had sparked them. It recommended the “temporary suspension of U.N. activities in the area until the situation is normalized”.

Oh, great! Not only are there vampires in Malawi, but they’re immigrant vampires! They should really build a wall.

So, what do you think? Mass hysteria? Actual vampires? A very unfortunate case of a trick-or-treater and mistaken identity? All I know is that I’ve seen enough movies where a supernaturally-related “scare” in some far corner of the world is what always kicks off the apocalypse.

Santa is Dead

Long live Santa!

Everybody knows Santa Claus. Children love him, songs are sung about him, a lot of us look like him when we get older, you know him. He’s an icon of the Christmas season, giving out gifts to all the good children across the world.

At least, that’s what he used to do. Recent findings by archeologists may mean Christmas is coming late this year.

The Washington Post reports: Archaeologists in southern Turkey say they have discovered the tomb of the original Santa Claus, also known as St. Nicholas, beneath his namesake church near the Mediterranean Sea.

According to the Telegraph, St. Nicholas died in A.D. 343 and was interred at St. Nicholas church in Demre, on the Mediterranean coast of Turkey.

St. Nicholas was Turkish? I guess that does make all the portrayals of him as a chubby white guy a little stranger.

But moving on, the real St. Nicholas that inspired the Santa Claus we all know and love today was as equally generous as the guy in the red suit. According to the story, he was a month who gave away a very big inheritance in favor of helping the poor and needy. He became well known for his anonymous gifts. He’s also apparently the patron saint of sailors. There’s your fun fact for the day.

While this is very interesting, it’s his post-living career that was really interesting, as it involved some grave robbing and a case of mistaken identity.

In 1087, apparently, merchants dug up his bones and smuggled them to the Italian city of Bari, the Telegraph reported. It’s still a holy site, visited by Christians paying homage to St. Nicholas.

But archaeologists say pilgrims to the Basilica di San Nicola are praying to the wrong guy. The bones belong to another local priest, not one of the most famous saints, the Telegraph reported.

Archaeologists conducting recent surveys at the church in Demre found gaps beneath it. The shrine, they say, is underneath the church and untouched.

Well, now that it’s confirmed that he’s good and dead, we’re gonna need a new Santa!

In the spirit of the seasons (Halloween and Christmas, since it’s only October) I recommend we recruit this guy:


London Train Commuters Flee as Man Begins Reading Bible

Is he still a street preacher if he’s on a train?

Passengers on a London train pried doors open a “panicked” situation. Power to the tracks were cut and the train forced to stop as the commuters all ran for their lives.

Why? What could cause a bunch of British people, who haven’t had real emotions since the Falkland Islands War, to panic in such a way? Was there a gas leak in the train? A crazy guy? A terrorist?

Apparently it was a case of the Holy Spirit that drove the crowd into a frenzy. A man reading the Bible aloud is what caused the disturbance.

Oregon Live reports: “I specifically heard him say things about homosexuality and sex before marriage being sins and how we had to repent for our sins, the lord gave his son for our sins, et cetera,” one passenger told the Richmond & Twickenham Times. “I sort of zoned out a little after that as I had no interest in listening to him.”

Others weren’t able to zone out. They “started to panic and push.”

A lot of sinners on the train that morning, huh?

Some commuters “became scared when the man also began saying ‘Death is not the end,'” a rider told the BBC.

Well, no, of course death isn’t the end if you’re religious (unless you believe in anihilationism, but that’s a theological rabbit hole). That doesn’t mean most of us want to die, though! … Then again, this incident occurred during a Monday morning commute. There was probably a fair number of people on that train wanting the sweet embrace of death.

Fleeing wasn’t the only option for commuters who didn’t want to hear about their sins. A passenger finally asked the Bible-reading man to be quiet because he was scaring people, and “the guy stopped and stood there with his head down.”

Well, that was the most British response to the situation you could have given! An American would have punched him out on suspicion of being a terrorist. A Londoner? “Quiet now. Don’t make a scene.”

For my American readers who may still be a little bit confused: London has faced quite a few terrorist attacks in recent history, so their response to a guy reading a religious book and saying “death is not the end” is kind of understandable. It’s not that they hate Christianity that much (probably,) it’s that they’re gun-shy when it comes to religious people.

Feces Elementary School Decides to Change Name

We can all think of unfortunate names for people/places: Dick, the city of Hell in Michigan, Donald Trump, the list goes on.

In a way, it’s fortunate that giving things terrible names is an international phenomenon, as evidenced by Feces Elementary School in Korea.

The Korea Times reports: For 55 years, students and graduates of Daebyun Elementary School in Gijang-gu, Busan, have had to refer to the word when mentioning their school. (“Daebyun” means “feces” in Korean)

Because of its name, the school has been a laughing stock, while some students currently enrolled felt hurt seeing their school referred to as “poop school.”

Hey, it could be worse! Constipation Elementary down the road had to hold a lot of their students back a semester!

But on Thursday the school announced it will change the name.

Does tradition mean nothing any more?

Students and alumni have gathered over 4,000 signatures since April in a campaign to change the name. A school committee will decide on a new name from three alternatives. Following the committee’s deliberation, the school will submit an official request to the Haeundae Office of Education.

Some suggested name changes include Herpes Elementary and Asparagus Pee Elementary.