Happy MLK Day

Good morning everybody! Happy MLK Day!

Some of us have the day off (banks, mostly) and others of us are still going to work. Either way today is a day to remember an important part of our nation’s history: The Civil Rights Movement.

Having majored in history, alongside journalism, it’s wise to assume I like history a little more than the average person. That being said, I’d like to take a small break today from talking about current events, and give you all a little window into the distant past (or not so distant, depending on how old you are.)

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I have a dream” speech is probably one of his most famous. It was given during the March on Washington, one of the most famous moments of the Civil Rights Era. I found the speech on youtube, which you can listen to here.

I’d also recommend everybody do some reading and/or find a documentary on the times of MLK, it’s really interesting.

Anyways, hope everybody has a nice day, whether or not you actually get the day off!


Some News

Hey everybody!

No news today, just a quick update on an idea I’ve had.

So, you guys know my Patreon page, right? At least one of you does (Hi Grandpa!)

Well despite what I’ve written earlier this month, I’ve decided against deactivating it for now. I want to give this whole “earning money” thing one more try. And this time, I have some incentives!

Starting next week, I will be posting an extra story over the weekend! This extra story will be will be patron-exclusive. So, if you like reading these blog posts (and if you’re reading this right now I assume you do) why don’t you consider becoming a patron? It’s pay-what-you-want, so you can pay whatever you think this blog is worth! (I also have bigger and better ideas, so patrons will get to be a part of those, too, once I get them up and running.)

Anyways, thank you for reading. I hope you consider giving me your money. Have a nice day!

Legal Marijuana is a Jewish Conspiracy

It makes sense when you think about it! How many points are on the Star of David? 6! How many points are there on a marijuana leaf? 7! What’s 7-6? 1, as in the Jewish one world order! Wake up sheeple!

Across the nation, marijuana is a hot topic of debate. On one hand the federal government classifies it as a dangerous “gateway” drug that threatens to destroy the moral/economic fabric of the nation. On the other hand, states like Colorado are making millions of tax dollars thanks to the legalization of the drug. Everyone has an opinion on that little green plant, and those little green dollars attached to it, so the debate isn’t likely to end soon.

Neo-nazis, typically known for their well-reasoned and logical beliefs, have come out against legalization of weed. Since I’m sure we all care what neo-nazis think, you may be asking “why?” Well, it’s because it’s a Jewish conspiracy, of course!

Newsweek reports: Neo-Nazi website Daily Stormer, which has celebrated criminal activity such as pedophilia and domestic violence in recent months, doesn’t want its white, young, male followers toking up—because Jews are behind the burgeoning legal marijuana industry, according to a post on the website on Thursday.

“It is personally disgusting to me that we are condemning a generation of children to grow up baked in this noxious substance. But there is now huge public support for it,” website editor Andrew Anglin complained in a post about the Trump administration potentially pushing back against marijuana consumption and distribution. “Most of the marijuana industry, I can assure you, is run by Jews.”

Now, I’m sure that a reputable website like the Stormer would require a lot of data to back up such a claim…

Anglin, it should be noted, offers up no evidence to support his claim that the legal marijuana industry is being promoted by Jewish people.

A Neo-Nazi website pushing baseless conspiracy theories?! Well, I never!!!

I’m sure that this Anglin guy must have some very strong opinions on drugs and being careful what chemicals go into one’s body. A body is a temple, after all. Why would anyone want to pollute it with drugs?

 The Atlantic reported in December that the 33-year-old Anglin “got deeply into drugs” during his youth, and “did LSD … took ketamine, ate psychedelic mushrooms, and snorted cocaine.”

Anglin also “chugged Robitussin” to get high, and drank so much of the cough syrup that he “damaged his stomach and would vomit into trash cans at school,” the magazine reported.

That’s right folks! Swig cough syrup until you vomit, but boy howdy don’t you dare think of smoking marijuana! Do you know how dangerous that is?!


Florida Man Reports Drunk Driver… Himself

Drunk driving is a serious issue that hurts/kills lots of people every year. It’s especially bad during New Year’s, when everybody welcomes the future by getting as wasted as possible.

Fortunately for all of us, the roads are now a little safer thanks to one vigilant citizen. A Florida man has been taken into custody after calling the cops on himself while driving drunk.

Fox News reports: Polk County Sheriff’s officials say the dispatcher kept him talking while directing officers to the scene.

When the dispatcher asked Michael Lester where he was, he said, “I’m too drunk. I don’t know where I’m at.”

And when she asked what he’d been doing all night, he said “I don’t know, driving around, trying to get pulled over, actually.”

“I’m driving on the wrong side of the road,” he said later.

The operator repeatedly urged him to park his truck and wait for officers to find him. Unfortunately, he chose the wrong spot.

“Look, I’m parked in the middle of the road,” he said. Sirens could be heard in the background a short time later.

When police found the man, they confirmed that he was, indeed, drunk. They also learned that he was high on meth and hand’t slept in several days, in true Florida Man fashion.

“Driving while under the influence of alcohol or drugs is a serious crime. Innocent people are too often injured or killed from impaired drivers. DUI is not a laughing matter,” sheriff’s officials wrote. “However … in this particular incident, nobody was hurt, so we couldn’t help but LOTO (that means we Laughed Our Tasers Off).”

Well, all’s well that ends well. Thank you, Florida Man, for keeping us all safe! It took a sleepless-booze-and-meth-binge for you to do it, but you did it! Good job!


Oregon Panics at Thought of Pumping Own Gas

There are two ways to tell if someone is from Oregon. #1: They can actually find the state on a map. #2: They apparently have no clue how to pump gas.

A new law was passed in the state of Oregon last Monday. Up until recently, it was illegal for Oregonians to get their own fuel at a gas station. That was the duty of the gas station attendants. However, thanks to the new law, Oregonians living in counties with fewer than 40,000 residents will have to get their own gas.

To put it lightly, they aren’t taking it well.

KLTA reports: Just the thought of pumping their own gas apparently has some Oregonians losing their minds.

Thanks to a new law that took effect Monday, residents in some rural Oregon counties will soon be allowed to pump their own gas. Aside from that exception, Oregon and New Jersey are the only states that do not allow drivers to fill up their own tanks.

But it wasn’t until Medford, Oregon, television station KTVL posted about the new law on social media that the rest of the country learned just how freaked out some Oregonians are at the mere thought of pumping gas.But it wasn’t until Medford, Oregon, television station KTVL posted about the new law on social media that the rest of the country learned just how freaked out some Oregonians are at the mere thought of pumping gas.

Judging by the Facebook comments, some people were taking the situation little less seriously than others. I’ll leave it to you to decide which is which.

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Several gas stations in Oregon have confirmed that they will, indeed, have attendants on hand to help teach Oregonians how to pump their own gas.

Thoughts and prayers to the people of Oregon as they work through this difficult time. It’s always hard to learn a new skill, especially one as complicated as swiping a credit card and pulling a handle.

Some Oregonians in Panic Mode After Law Allowing Motorists to Pump Their Own Gas Takes Effect

Texas #1 for Flu Activity Nationwide

We’re #1! We’re #1! We’re *cough cough* #1!

It’s flu season in the United States. The holidays are over, but for many people the new year has not been all that pleasant. Many people have been stuck either at home or at work (depending on their sick days) with the flu. Many other people are willingly staying home just to try and avoid those who are sick. For those of us in Texas, that may be a little harder than in other parts of the country.

Spectrum News reports: Texas is first in the nation for flu activity, according to the latest data from Walgreens.

Top 10 States with Flu Activity:

  1. Texas
  2. Arkansas
  3. Tennessee
  4. West Virginia
  5. Nebraska
  6. Iowa
  7. Idaho
  8. Missouri
  9. Oklahoma
  10. North Carolina

Using retail prescription sales for antiviral medication, the pharmacy giant regularly compiles an index showing areas across the U.S. with the highest occurrences of influenza.

Not only is Texas at the top of flu-infected states, the data supplied breaks it down further. We even know which regions of the Lone Star State are the sickest. Topping that list is… The Tyler-Longview area…

GREAT!!! I live in spitting (or sneezing) distance of ground zero. Guess I’ll be washing my hands a lot more frequently than usual when I’m at work today…


New Zealanders Build Island to Avoid Alcohol Ban

New Year’s Eve is a time for the three F’s: Friends, fun, and… falcohol?

The New Zealand area of Coromandel has an interesting law on its books. There is a ban on alcohol on New Year’s Eve there. New Zealanders are not allowed to usher in the new year by trying as hard as possible to forget the last one, it seems.

Of course, people are people. If Prohibition has taught us anything, its that people are at there most creative when they want to kill brain cells.

The BBC reports: A group of New Zealanders has constructed a sand island in coastal waters, seemingly in a creative attempt to avoid a ban on drinking in public places.

The group built the structure at low tide in the Tairua estuary on the Coromandel peninsula on Sunday afternoon, reports said.

They then installed a picnic table and ice box for drinks.

Locals joked that they were in “international waters” and thus exempt from an official liquor ban.

The group drank into the night on New Year’s Eve, watching the fireworks, reported New Zealand website stuff.co.nz – and the construction was still intact on Monday morning.

Fortunately for the new kingdom of Newer Zealand, their international relations seem to be off to a good start.

“That’s creative thinking – if I had known [about it] I probably would have joined them,” said local police commander Inspector John Kelly when told about the sand island.

Well, it’s always nice to have a feel-good story on this blog. Happy belated new year, New Zealand! Congratulations on the new island! Cheers!