“Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died–more than that, who was raised to life–is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.” – Romans 8:34
… I guess it depends on your interpretation, but I don’t see anything there about using a stuffed animal as your lawyer.
A British Columbia couple has lost custody of their child after it the court determined they were just a little bit insane. The custody trial involved highlights such as the couple speaking in tongues and using a toy lion, supposedly through which God was speaking, to act as their defense lawyer.
These are not the only examples of weirdness this couple has demonstrated, though! It gets much more interesting than that.
The Vancouver Sun reports: Both parents were raised in Christian homes, she in Ontario and he in B.C., but strayed from their roots until reconnecting with their beliefs as adults. They met in 2014 and shared a mutual interest in their own emerging view of the Christian faith and were privately married a year later, court heard.
They had unstable working and living arrangements, moving around various communities in B.C., court heard. Their views started interfering with their relationships with others, including Christian communities. Several churches banned them and even called police for assistance when the couple set out to “purge churches of evil influences,” according to court records.
If you want to run around purging heresy, you should become Catholic … or at least get into the “Warhammer 40k” games.
At one point, after the birth of their child, they were criminally charged with causing a disturbance after police were called to a church in West Kelowna where the parents were trying to cleanse demonic influences, court heard.
Considering this is in Canada, couldn’t those “demonic influences” have just been some geese? Those things are pretty evil.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, this story about a family losing custody of their child has some dark undertones to it.
After the woman found she was pregnant, she told a social worker her husband sometimes choked her to make her stop crying, had once tied her hands and covered her mouth with tape, which scared her, and occasionally beat her, court heard.
She told the worker her husband grew up in a cult and believes sexual relations between children should be encouraged and that they “role-play” sins where she plays the victim and he plays the perpetrator, court heard.
When interviewed by police about the allegations, she denied them. Her husband said that once, when he was frustrated with her and had had a few drinks, he put one hand over her throat and the other over her mouth.
After the birth of their daughter, the parents refused all medical tests and procedures for her, including a hearing test, blood test, eye drops and a vitamin K shot. The mother also said she was unwilling to have her vaccinated.
The mother applied to change her daughter’s name to Jesus JoyoftheLord and her own first name to Risen Lord Jesus, her middle name to Refinersfire and her last name to Christ (with a hyphenation including her real name.)
You know real-life names aren’t the same as YouTube channel names, right?
“What’s up? Refinersfire here! Today we’re going to purge some demons from a church! But first, make sure to hit that subscribe button and to check out my Patreon page!”
And now we get to the actual trial over custody of this kid…
When their child custody case came to court, the couple refused legal aid.
They said they had legal help, however, which came in the formed of a stuffed lion. During trial, the couple spoke to the lion in non-discernible words, presented as “speaking in tongues,” and said that through the lion they heard directly from God.
They said Jesus Christ was their “lawyer, witness and judge.”
But … But that’s not what that means …
When they cross-examined witnesses, they told each witness that their lawyer Jesus was asking the questions through them.
“Your honor, I’d like to declare a mistrial! Mr. Jesus Christ never passed the bar exam, and he is not licensed to be a lawyer!”
In the end, the judge did not find them to be credible and ruled in favour of the ministry and placed the baby in continuing care. The parents appealed that decision, claiming it infringed on their religious freedoms “as Christian parents.”
As a Christian, I gotta admit I sure don’t recognize your brand of “Christianity.” The Christians I was raised around generally didn’t speak in tongues (or to stuffed animals), didn’t try to change their names to religious catchphrases, got me vaccinated, and didn’t run around trying to purge demons from churches.
But who knows? Maybe I’m the one who’s doing the whole “religion” thing wrong.