Airline Denies Flight Attendant Orgy

There’s a joke about “service with a smile” in here somewhere…

China Eastern Airlines has denied allegations that six of their flight attendants participated in an orgy last week. Also, important news: Apparently flight attendant orgies are a thing! I always wondered what they were up to when I was trying to get another bag of pretzels…

Newsweek reports: On Wednesday, a series of videos emerged on Weibo, a popular Chinese microblogging platform, which showed at least six nude men and women dancing, grinding and laughing in a room.

The video quickly went viral, and soon after, rumors emerged that the orgy occurred in Madrid and the people involved were flight attendants for China Eastern Airlines or its subsidiary, Shanghai Airlines, the Shanghaiist reported.

In a document that was allegedly compiled by the airline, the company denied that their employees were the people featured in the video, suggested it was filmed in Africa and said that the people who created it deliberately did so to damage their reputation.

Yep, I’m sure while this group of people were getting down and dirty, the only thing on their minds was how much this was going to embarrass this one airline!

Now, while I’m sure China Eastern Airlines sees this as awful PR, I suggest they look at it the other way! There is a positive spin you can put on this! for one thing, it shows how friendly this company’s flight attendants are. For another thing, this company must have a terrific workplace environment!


Senate Candidate Wants to Arm the Homeless

Libertarians: The party for people who use Billy Joel’s “My Life” as a theme song.

In recent years it seems that the American political system has gotten a little stranger. Candidates running for office are willing to do more and more bizarre things to get attention, because apparently nothing deserves disqualification from office any more!

One such candidate, a Michigan Libertarian running for the Senate, has found a unique way to get his platform into the limelight. He’s going to give guns to a bunch of homeless people.

The Libertarian Vindicator reports: Michigan Libertarian Brian Ellison has taken a unique approach to promoting his Senatorial campaign: starting a fundraiser to provide 20 pump shotguns to the homeless to allow them to protect themselves, as long as they pass a background check, are of legal age to own a firearm and receive proper training.

How is that background check going to go?

Name: Stinky Harry

Residence: Under the bridge

Form of ID: None

History of mental health problems and/or drug abuse: Most likely

You pass! Here’s your shotgun!

“Homeless people are one of the most marginalized and victimized people in this country. We need to step up and help these people protect themselves. This problem cannot be ignored any longer. Consider joining my campaign to help Arm The Homeless,” stated Ellison via social media.

Arm the Homeless. Okay, then! Once we’re done arming the homeless, maybe we could think about feeding the homeless, or finding job opportunities for the homeless, or helping the homeless beat addiction? No? Just arming them and setting them loose? Ok, well, I don’t see this becoming a problem!

Ellison’s platform for his Senatorial run includes allowing people their right to protect themselves, ending the war on drugs, the TSA and the Department of Education, and free trade among nations.

Well I’m glad to hear that he’s thought through more platforms than just giving homeless people guns. I was about to think he was just another wacko!

Michigan Senate Candidate Starts Campaign To Arm The Homeless

Austin Bomber Bombs Himself


If you’ve kept up with the news, you’ll know that the city of Austin has been repeatedly hit with bomb attacks. The serial bomber, who planted five bombs across the city, killed himself in a sixth (and hopefully final) explosion early this morning.  Police were closing in on him, according to reports, and he took his own life by blowing up his car.

CNN reports: The man, whom police didn’t name publicly, detonated a bomb in his vehicle early Wednesday on the side of Interstate 35 in Round Rock, north of Austin, as SWAT team members approached him, authorities said.

Investigators believe he is responsible for the five explosions that killed two people and injured five others in Austin or south-central Texas since March 2, authorities said. They also warned a wary public not to let down their guard.

“We don’t know where this suspect has spent his last 24 hours, and therefore we still need to remain vigilant to ensure that no other packages or devices have been left throughout the community,” Austin Police Chief Brian Manley said.

The bomber has reportedly been identified as Mark Anthony Conditt, a man in his early 20s. Police say that Conditt’s motivations remain unclear, but are still investigating.

Romanian Court Informs Man He Is Dead

Romania has a history of vampire problems, so I guess that this court ruling kind of makes sense.

Despite appearing before court supposedly alive and well, Romanian man Constantin Reliu has been declared dead. According to the court, he was too late to appeal to overturn the verdict. To be fair, when you’re dead you have a lot on your mind and probably don’t think about overturning the death certificate.

The Guardian reports: Constantin Reliu asked the court in the town of Barlad to overturn a death certificate obtained by his wife after he had spent more than a decade in Turkey, during which time he was out of contact with his family. The court told him he was too late, and would have to remain officially deceased.

“I am officially dead, although I’m alive,” a bemused Reliu told local media outlets. “I have no income and because I am listed dead, I can’t do anything.”

The reason Reliu has been declared dead is because everyone in Romania thought he actually was. The man reportedly travelled to Turkey in the ’90s to look for work and cut off all contact with his family. He discovered that he “died” when he went back to Romania to renew his passport and was informed he died back in 2003.

The Romanian daily Adevarul said Reliu’s wife had argued in court that having heard nothing from her husband since 1999, she had assumed he had died in an earthquake while in Turkey. The paper said Reliu believes she sought the death certificate in order to annul the marriage and allow her to remarry.

A spokeswoman for the court explained to local news outlets that Reliu had been too late with his appeal against the death certificate and had thus lost the case. The ruling is apparently final and cannot be appealed against, leaving Reliu in legal limbo.

While this is a confusing and frustrating situation, it’s always important to look on the bright side of things! There are only two certain things in life: Death and taxes. Now that you’ve gotten one out of the way you don’t have to worry about the other one!

Man in Cow Costume Tries to Burn Down Ex’s House With Pasta Sauce

Bet that’s a headline you weren’t expecting to read today!

Two men, one “disguised” in a bull onesie, have been arrested for attempting to rob and burn down a man’s home. In case you were wondering, yes, this was in Florida.

ABC 13 reports: Authorities in Daytona, Florida say one man was disguised as a bull in a onesie when the pair broke into the home, stealing the victim’s TV, A/C unit, heater, and a vacuum.

After taking the items, the suspects boiled a pot of spaghetti sauce and left a towel on the stove.

And if this story wasn’t saucy enough, the victim reportedly used to date one of the bovine burglars!

The victim says he and his ex dated but remained friends after the split, so he’s not sure why he’s angry.

“I’ve let him use my car for four months, maybe he’s angry about that. Or, maybe he’s angry because I gave him $150 to fix his teeth. Maybe he’s angry about that,” said the victim.

Letting me borrow your car and giving me money for dental work? I’d be furious, too!

Utah Woman Caught Trying to Hire Hitman … Three Times

To be fair, that’s a level of dedication you should admire!

Linda Gillman, a 70-year-old Utah woman, is currently on trial for attempting to hire a hitman. Her target was her ex-husband. However, Gillman should really reconsider where she goes to hire her assassins, because this is the third time in a row she’s been caught.

Fox News reports: Gillman paid the man $5,000 to have her ex-husband and his current wife killed, KSL reported. She allegedly promised to give the man $100,000 once the two people were dead and she was able to collect her ex-husband’s life insurance.

She was ultimately caught when the man she attempted to hire went to police.

Frickin’ tattle-tale!

Gillman had allegedly planned for the man to ask a third individual to murder her ex-husband and stage it as a drug overdose. Gillman was charged with two counts of criminal solicitation in that incident.

The 70-year-old, however, didn’t let that deter her from attempting to wipe out all her enemies. While in jail, Gillman allegedly tried to get another inmate to murder the man who she initially hired to kill her ex-husband.

Now picture a little old lady saying in a grandmotherly voice, “Snitches get stitches, b*tch!”

In her latest attempt to hire a hit man, Gillman wanted a witness and an attorney killed. Authorities thwarted her plot when they caught Gillman attempting to send another $155,000 in a check.

If you’re already in a hole, sometimes you have to just dig your way out! … Or you can climb out on a pile of dead bodies. That would probably work, too. Nobody can convict you if there’s nobody to convict you!

Teacher Accidentally Fires Gun in Class

Well … That didn’t take long!

With all the debates around school safety, the 2nd Amendment, and how best to protect students, it seems like there are only two extreme categories to fall into: No more guns, or all the guns.

One idea floating around to protect students from school shooters is to give teachers guns. However, as demonstrated by a teacher and reserve police officer in Seaside, California, it’s a “who watches the watchmen” scenario. What do we do if it’s the teachers firing guns in classrooms?

KSBW reports: Dennis Alexander was teaching a course about gun safety for his Administration of Justice class when his gun went off at 11 a.m.

Alexander was pointing his gun at the ceiling when it fired. Pieces of the ceiling fell to the ground.

A news release from the Seaside Police Department said no one suffered “serious injuries.” One 17-year-old boy suffered moderate injuries when fragments from the bullet ricocheted off the ceiling and lodged into his neck, the student’s father, Fermin Gonzales, told KSBW.

Umm … I’m no doctor, but shouldn’t shrapnel to the neck count as a serious injury?

Everyone in the classroom was stunned, and the teacher, who is a reserve officer for the Sand City Police Department, apologized.

But no one at the school checked to make sure that all of the students were uninjured, Gonzales said. The school day resumed as normal.

The 17-year-old boy’s parents were shocked when he returned home with blood on his shirt and bullet fragments in his neck. The student’s parents rushed him to a hospital for X-rays.

“Yeah, I have a bullet in my neck, but I really don’t want to be excused from class. Frankly, I’m scared to ask for a hall pass, now.”

“I think a lot of questions on parents’ minds are, why a teacher would be pointing a loaded firearm at the ceiling in front of students,” Monterey Peninsula Unified School District Superintendent PK Diffenbaugh said. “Clearly in this incident protocols were not followed.”

I think that any time a scenario ends with a gun going off inside a school, it’s safe to say protocols aren’t being followed.

On one hand, good on this guy for trying to teach these kids gun safety (they definitely know why it’s important, now!) On the other hand, maybe next time check to see the gun is empty before coming to class?